'The POLITE Way to PEE!

''The POLITE Way to PEE!"

Teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students this question:
Michael if u were on a date having diñner with a nice young lady, how wud u tell her that u hav to go to the bathroom?
Michael, "Just a min i hav to go pee".
Teacher: That would be rude & impolite. How about u SAM. Sam said "i realy need 2 go 2 toilet, i m sory". Teacher, "thats beter but stil not nice to say word toilet. Oh u little Jonny can u use ur brain?
JONNY said,
"Darling,may i plz b excused for a moment?I've 2 shake hands with a very dear frnd of mine, whom i hope 2 introduce 2 u after diner"

Funny Forgotton Laws of Newton

Laws Which Newton Forgot To State

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change ur queue, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telefone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone u know increases when u r with sum1 u don't want to b seen with : P

Wife said I'm dying

Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!